The Tell-Tale Signs Of Aging

this tells getting older and and the biggest thing is just managing the pain , you know used to if …  if you saw me limping there was a story to go with it , you know,  I delve into the bleachers to catch the ball and now I just have these random jolts of pain,  I mean not long ago I was talking to some friends and I said yeah I just .. I just signed up for Netflix and I binge watched both seasons of stranger things and they’re like what’s wrong and I’m like I don’t know,  it’s like just one day I woke up and I’ve gone from baby got bad to baby got bad bad .

And lately I’ve been having this terrible shoulder pain I couldn’t figure out what was causing it I finally realized is my Durham purse and I don’t even know what’s in the black hole that makes it so heavy because whatever I’m looking for I can’t find , but when I go to the grocery store even if I only need one thing I get a buggy to push that purse , and I know this is a universal problem , because the other day I saw a lady pushing a stroller and her kid was walking but that purse strapped in .

ohhh do you know what they’re saying , you know 50 is a new 40 , 40 is a  new 30 ,  nine o´clock is a new midnight and it doesn’t matter what time I go to bed I wake up tired,  thinking what was the point , I could have done something else !  and now I’m starting to see more than just the physical signs of aging , you know now I’m starting to see those other signs , I’ve gone driving,  if I’m not sure where I’m going , have to turn the radio down so I can see.

Lady said to me the other day just wait a few years you had to put your glasses on to hear . and the other day I’m leaving the mall , I have my packages I go to put my bags in the trunk, can’t get the key to work I keep hitting my remote it won’t release the trunk I can’t figure out what in the world is wrong with this so finally I think well maybe my latch is hung up so I took my fist and I popped the truck , suddenly the car door opens a man steps out and goes can I help you I said oh ma …

I said :  well sugar I bought you a present !  I mean he had a red car , I have a red car ofcourse his’s a Mercedes and mine’s a cuckoo Kia , apparently I can only distinguish colors now , but at least I’m not the only person losing her car in a parking lot.  I kid you not,  last Christmas I saw a woman get out of her car at a crowded mall and she took a plunger with a pink scarf tied to it and she slapped it on top of a car .

Introducing the new car finder , but  I’m seriously starting to worry about myself,  about ten years ago I went to visit a friend of Mines mother in the nursing home and we were sitting there talking I knew she didn’t recognize me , so finally I said Do You Know Who I am , and she said no she said but if you’ll go out there to that desk that lady I tell you who you are and what room you’re supposed to be in ,  back then I thought that was funny now I have days when I need to talk to the lady at that desk.

There are some days I don’t know my name much less anyone else’s , a conversation with me has become like a game of charades I was trying to think this actors name and I said to my friends oh you know him he has dark hair,  he was in that movie oh  you know the movie and ahhhhh ,  he married ahhh , married what’s her name she was on that show with those other girls they were in New York , couldn’t come up with anything and then when it finally comes to me it’s like Tourette’s,  three days later I’m standing in line at the grocery store and I don’t know where I go ,  Matthew Broderick !!