What I Would Do To Be In Italy by Sebastian Maniscalco

i i performed in italy uh recently it

was a it was a yeah

beautiful and i took my wife

and we went it was in tuscany now we

check in

to our hotel room we go to the pool

start looking around the pool

see a beautiful couple come down

beautiful couple

just on their honeymoon you could tell

they’re recently married stunning

woman was well put together had a nice

sun head on big brim

nice wedge

ladies get yourself a nice wedge for the

pool deck

got a nice see-through sash beautiful

just

blew in the wind

guy had a nice swim trunk on right here

mid thigh guys get yourself a nice trunk

for the season

you’ve seen some of these men that wear

this uh

swimsuit down today what are you wearing

slacks

they get out of the pool half of the

pool’s caught in their legs

so they get into the pool they start to

swim as a couple i’ve never seen

anything like it

she’s doing the breaststroke just

the guy’s doing the butterfly

know how confident you have to be to

pull off the butterfly

i’ve never seen the butterfly outside

the olympics this guy

is doing a recreational butterfly on his

honeymoon

you know how violent that is the entire

pool looks like a jacuzzi

kids are drowned

then i’m looking at these kids i don’t

even know what they’re wearing these

kids

they’re covered from head to toe

eight-year-old kid he’s got long

sleeves on it’s got a hat with flaps

over his ears

spf 30 000. what the hell

kid looks like a mime

[Applause]

it’s got every apparatus unknown to man

breathing tube

goggles flippers what are you looking

for

it’s a pool there’s no coral

i had none of this growing up i asked my

father dad

i want to look underneath the water open

up your eye

[Applause]

by the end of the vacation i was blind i

couldn’t see [ __ ]

so they stopped guy’s out of breath

i’m looking at him he’s got long hair

type of hair you got to dip in the pool

and then flip

back oh god as soon as i saw that i pat

my wife i got to meet this guy

this guy’s sensational

and i don’t know if you’ve ever talked

to somebody so magnificent before

that you have nothing to share i had

nothing to tell this guy this guy had

multiple careers at 16 he played in the

french open

at 32 he had a big law firm now he’s

running a big hedge fund then he tells

us

we summer in capri where do you summer

our backyard i don’t know what the hell

you’re talking about

we take a week off of here you got the

summers